The Struggle is Real

People who don't have children with autism will never fully understand how real and in your face the struggle is, day in and day out.

Today I started reading the book, I am in Here. On the front of the book under the title, it says, " The journey of a child with autism who cannot speak but finds her voice."

I read 4 chapters, and was in tears for almost all of them. Finally, a book that explains EXACTLY what it's like. The desperations, the tears, hopelessness, struggle, and just all around feeling of getting absolutely no where.

I would recommend this to anybody with a child with autism. Never before have I been so drawn in and captivated by a book (and I'm not an author.)

Here's an exert, " I sometimes fear that people cannot understand that I hear, and I know that they don't believe I go to every extreme to try to express my need to talk. If only they could walk in my shoes they would share my news: I am in here, and trying to speak every day in some kind of way, " Elizabeth Bonker - the child of the author Virginia Green.

Elizabeth's writings and poetry are throughout the book. They coincide directly with her mothers writings. Through her eyes, feelings, struggles, and joys.

It's Not Easy Raising an Autistic Child

No one knows what it's like having an autistic child, unless you are the parent or caregiver. It's not easy, for me it has been especially hard lately with Justin.

It seems as though he's regressed in some areas. Things I thought were long handled, like hopping the gate to get into the water in the kitchen. Yeah, that's back full force.

Frustration levels don't ever really go away. Sure, they may ease up a bit but they're still there.

I wish I could afford to have someone come in daily, or 3-4 days a week and do his therapies with him. His one occupational therapist is wonderful, Justin really likes her I can tell. She doesn't let him get away with things, and he listens to her.  It's hard to get him out. People who don't have autistic children will never understand this !

A few other regressions:
 * Getting into laundry room, dumping whole box of soap in.
 * Opening the hall closet, and pulling out tools and batteries and scattering them around his room.
 * Taking things off shelves.
 * Not listening.
 * Climbing onto the computer table, and jumping off (over and over again.)

Learning Languages

Justin just recited the alphabet in another language. It sounded like French or Spanish.

Out and About

We took Justin out with us for the first time in a long time. We went to our favorite chinese restaurant, Target, and home. He did so great ! (Pic's to follow soon.)

At Target he got to see his occupational therapist, who we ran into.

Than we got into the car, and the meltdown started. It lasted all the way home, all 45 minutes of it.

He ended the ordeal with a super bubble bath. Which made him feel all better.

Chillin

Tired Boy

This week after Justin had his therapies, he got french fries from McDonald's, his favorite. We got home, and he took a two hour nap. He did this last week too. After he woke up this week, he was crying and had tears running down his cheeks, calling "Mommy."

I think we all fight change, and growing up. I see it with everyone of my other 4 children. So why would it be any different with Justin ?

I just worry though, because I don't want it to be to much for him.

What do you think, what would you do ?

Sick and Tired

I'm so tired of everything with the school being a struggle !